I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
