If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
