I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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