it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize