i just had sex bonerless
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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