she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
