Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
