I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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