Life is so much better after having sex.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
