My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
