when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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