either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
