It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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