Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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