i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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