Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
