Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
