Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
