Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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