I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
