no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
