I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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