I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
