Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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