i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
