did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
