Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
