I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
