hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize