Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Buhtt sex?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
