so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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