guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
