does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
