I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize