you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
