Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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