There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize