i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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