Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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