I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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