Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
