At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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