The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
