So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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