I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
