He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
