three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
