Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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