i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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