She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
