Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
