There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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