When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
