He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet