You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick