Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
