Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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