i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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