I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
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my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
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He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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