..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
