Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize