Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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