I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
