im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
people are starting to question the shark bite story
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
