Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
