sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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